Fear of Change

Fear is an interesting emotion. I was originally going to say useless, however I quickly deleted that, as it is not necessarily true. Fear can actually be quite useful when we are in survival/fight or flight mode. However, it does begin to become useless when we start applying it to everything in our life.

When making an important change, fear is usually one of the biggest factors affecting our ability to move forward. Once we have come to the realization that we need to make a change in our life and make decisions, fear comes bounding in and starts planting every possible doubt that could ever exist as to why you shouldn’t. Never mind the fear that is projected towards you from other people when they find out about your desired changes. I could probably write a full blog post on that one (or a book for that matter) but lets suffice it to say that other people’s fears amazingly fall into the equation on this one. So on top of your own doubts to deal with you have everyone else’s too.

This is why I call this stage The Precipice. Making The Decision has planted you on the very edge of a precipice, everything familiar and “secure” is behind you and in front of you is a massive drop off, with no idea of what lies below or what lies in the vast wild blue yonder ahead of it. This is one of the most frightening places to be along our journey. Why? Because we are standing there alone. There is no one to provide a safety net, or catch us if we fall. It is up to us. And we have no idea if we are about to fall into the vast abyss waiting below or sprout wings and fly.

So what is it that drives us off this cliff? That prompts us to take our hearts and hopes in our hands and leap? I am sure there are a great number of things, but in my personal experience the following have been the most prominent:

1) Faith: By the word faith I am talking about it in the purest sense: trusting that things will work out. Trusting completely that once we walk off that precipice we will grow wings and fly. It takes a lot of courage but when we listen to our intuition, that little gut instinct, we know that we will always be guided in the right direction.

2) Valuing and Honoring Ourselves: We deserve to have the best in life. Therefore staying in a situation that stagnates us is essentially a dishonour to ourselves and a poor example to others. By making decisions that we know are what is best for us and that honour who we are we begin the motion of attracting what is actually best for us into our lives. Imagine that.

3) A Solid Connection to the Inner You: I believe that this is THE most important aspect of pushing past fear. It is what guides you when you have nothing else to hang onto. When you have a solid connection with yourself, you will always know what is best and what it is that you want. It is the voice that tells you that the path behind you is no longer an option if you want to live out your dreams. That solid understanding can move mountains and create miracles. It is the energy that begins to drive change and bring you what you need. It is very difficult initiating change when you do not essentially know what you want. Creating and maintaining this connection to yourself is what will bring you that knowledge.

So take a leap of faith and trust that you are capable of much more than you believe =]

30 Things I Am Thankful For

Thought Catalog

Throughout the 30 days of November, #PSThankfulfor, KPCC and NPR’s Public Square community project, featured countless artistic takes on the many persons, places and things in peoples’ lives they are thankful for.

I realize November may be over and gone, but today I am here to present 30 not so glamorous parts of my life I am thankful for. These items aren’t the kind that are shared around the table during Thanksgiving dinner, nor are they pretty enough to plaster on Instagram, not even with ample cropping, a border, or some Lo-Fi or Sierra filtering.

These are the parts of me, myself and my life that are difficult to verbalize and articulate at times, but have shaped my being and my human experience far more than the lighter more pleasant and picturesque moments have. And for that in itself, I am thankful.

1. I am thankful for all the things…

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17 Things That Happen When You’ve Been Friends With Someone For, Literally, Ever

1. The ability to be humble in the most earnest sense. People whose accomplishments don’t come precedented by declarative sentiments of why they are deserving and able, but those who have so honestly worked for what they have and in that work have displayed such intimate parts of themselves that there is no other way to feel but human, not superior.
2. Complete selflessness, whether or not the situation calls for it. People will usually provide for those who are desperately and honestly in need, but it’s the people who are selfless in their day-to-day lives, without the expectation that they’ll be praised for their loving hearts, who are most admirable.

3. Those who retain awareness of themselves and how they could be perceived in light and in acknowledgement of other people’s feelings, intentions, desires and motives.

4. The willingness to learn and the willingness to be wrong. The strength of mind and heart to be open to possibilities that may debunk whatever their sense of peace is resting on. That is evidence of the truest strength a person can have.

5. The ability to express genuine happiness for other people without being resentful or bitter. To be able to remove themselves from their own frame of reference and experience the joy someone else is and understand why they want to share it with them, rather than succumb to the knee-jerk reaction that people only live to make them feel bad about themselves.

6. Genuine confidence, especially in the face of uncertainty.

7. Honesty even when it portrays them in a less than flawless light. People who can be completely upfront about the ways in which they are human, normal, flawed but trying, deceptively deep but honest and hurt but healing are those who understand that what’s greater than proving to others that they’re perfect is bonding with them over the ways that we’re all not.

8. Unconditional empathy. Those who throw doubt and inhibition and question to the wind and honestly feel for another person as though they were the ones having the experience.

9. Knowing that they don’t know it all, and probably never will.

10. A sense of personal style. There’s just something so admirable about people who have their own sense of self that they express outwardly for other people to see and understand. It’s easy to be stylish and attractive in the socially-normative sense. But there’s something endlessly fascinating and compelling about people who are unapologetically themselves, inwardly and outwardly.

11. Unforced gratitude; a curated mindset that everything they have is a privilege and blessing. People who are always thankful for things done for them, no matter how small or insignificant, because they realize that there is nothing more off-putting than those who don’t acknowledge what another person went out of their way to do for them.

12. Respect for that which they don’t understand.

13. Respect for people just because they are also living beings who deserve it innately, regardless of what they’ve chosen, done, believed or said.

14. The ability to hold a great conversation, one that does not revolve around berating someone else or complaining about themselves.

15. Those who don’t take stock in appearances, not theirs and not other people’s. Too often, upon meeting someone we feel the need, almost the social necessity, to describe them physically and backup their imperfections with but they’re such and such a thing. People who see beneath this don’t do that.

16. Admiration, not jealousy, for those who can do that which they are incapable of.

17. Understanding, especially in the face of those who act out against them. This is probably the most important one, because most people (myself included) forget that what people do to them and against them has much more to do with that person than themselves. Understanding that is understanding people at a very basic level, a level that is too largely ignored, and such ignorance results in a growing inability to acknowledge one other as anything other than enemies we should be slated against as opposed to fellow humans who are swaths of intentions and motives and defenses we will probably never understand completely. 

Thought Catalog

1. Inevitably, you move to different states, go to different schools, and sometimes lose touch. But when you return, you’re still as weird and dysfunctional as ever before.

2. You don’t even need to get to the punchline anymore, they’re already laughing.

3. You become friends with their parents too, seeing as they’ve all but adopted you at this point. It’s not uncommon to receive texts from them on the reg.

4. You really do start acting like an old married couple. You’re not afraid to bicker, and honestly, you’re probably too attached to each other to stay mad for long.

5. Personal space has no bearing on you. Boundaries have completely dissolved into the “it’s 2 a.m. I’m miserable and getting into bed with you deal with it” abyss.

6. You get comfortable with silence, arguably the most awesome aspect of any relationship. You can go on trips together or…

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Santa’s Been Reading Your Letters Because Now There’s a Nutella Bar

NewsFeed

All the boys and girls of Chicago must have been very good this year, because Monday marks the opening of one of the greatest concepts ever brought to the foodie world: a Nutella bar.

The bar is located inside of Mario Batali’s 63,000 square foot new Eataly, which is 30% bigger than the New York location.

The Nutella bar combined with David Burke’s recently opened Chicago bacon bar is reason enough to take a trip to the Windy City in the dead of winter.

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Wake up to the day, and life, with inspiration via Bryan Franklin: “I want you to imagine a version of yourself that has no shame. That doesn’t have anything to prove. That’s already proved everything. That’s gotten the validation from all … Continue reading

With iBeacon, Apple is going to dump on NFC and embrace the internet of things

iBeacon (with Bluetooth LE) + Biometrics + AirDrop = the new iPhone.

Gigaom

At WWDC in June, Apple (s aapl) quietly announced iBeacon, one of the more prominent features of iOS 7. Craig Federighi, Apple’s senior vice president of Software Engineering, mentioned nothing about about it in the keynote, and Apple hasn’t provided any details about it; it was only seen on one slide in the WWDC keynote.

iBeacon Apple WWDC 2013 iOS 7

Nor did Apple say anything about it during the iPhone event Tuesday. But I’m sure this is going to be a big deal, and startup companies like Estimote agree, announcing its support for Apple’s technology Tuesday and releasing this demonstration video.

Why is that so? For a couple of reasons: it opens a door to new set of applications such as indoor maps and in-store marketing, it makes the internet of things a realty and it might kill NFC (near-field communications), the wireless technology most linked with mobile payments.

What is iBeacon?

Using…

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Resolutions

Being the last time I will be able to call Purdue my home, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on the past four years, on all the amazing memories I’ve made, the friends I’ve gained and some that I’ve lost, and the hard work I’ve put into getting my degree. This year I have thought of it frequently. I have been struck these past few weeks by how little time we want to put into others. We are deeply sunken into an era of self. Self help, self-improvement, self-enlightenment. We are disillusioned trying to fine meaning and joy in ourselves. Viewing what we want and need or can accomplish as more important than our relationships.

I know resolutions are made for a new year, but what if we created resolutions for the school year? What if this year we focused more on others?  What if we tried to be better listeners, putting our iPhones away when a living-breathing friend is there with us? What if, like a story, we were willing to share our valuable times and experiences with someone new? 

Here are some of my resolutions:

BE PRESENT. I want to not be on my phone 24/7 as hard as that may be.

SHARE MY TIME. As easy as it is to get caught up with our many many responsibilities, its these years of our lives that we will cherish for years to come. I hope to be less selfish with my time. Making quality time with my friends a priority. And even though I call my mother every day, I promise to thoughtfully respond and actually read all your emails (I know your reading this mommy… =]). 

GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. You can never really know someone till you walk a mile in his or her shoes. As hard as it is to trust someone I truly believe that people are generally good. So lets cut down on the maliciousness and judgment.

WARM UP. This is my final goal. I am not sure if I should blame school, my job, my experiences, or just my brain, but somehow I have seen and felt myself turning cold. I am quick to pull away and I have defensively worked hard to not let go. I want to try to melt my chilly heart, just a tad, and make more room for loving and feeling. We’ll see =]

 

So there it is, as difficult as it is to publicize.

What are your goals for the coming year? What are your priorities?